What a marvellous piece of work, Katie, and very incisive, very well observed and good points, all of them! I was born in the States but left aged 7, so can't comment on adult issues in quite the way you can, but my mother went out there initially as a trained nurse due to the fact that no American would "lower" themselves to do such menial work....they all want to get somewhere, are big go-getters and high-fliers and yes, waitressing and the service industries do have a bad name, but I totally agree with you about the way in which service is viewed, we should tip at our discretion and if we can afford it but only if the service is worth tipping for!

I didn't watch the programme you did last night but I think it is difficult to strike a balance.

I worked for years in the hotel industry as a barmaid, chambermaid and waitress and you have to work really hard for tips. You also have to work really hard to get your work done as they tend to really pile it on...I started aged 11 and I found it interesting that French customers always left tips under their pillows in the bedrooms!!

Also, I worked in a hotel in which famous people often stay but I never got a tip from Elton John nor Tommy Cannon and Bobby Ball (although I felt I should have as they left the most horrendous mess in all their rooms!!) but on the other hand, every member of the Drifters was a perfect gentleman, and emptied all their pockets of all their loose change and filled up all the ashtrays with this, which was our tip....it was tons!!! Of course, we had to share it, though, because we didn't get paid much but it was a lovely gesture, and again, an indication of the American attitude that tipping is REQUIRED!

Thanks again for giving us all something to think about, Katie, and a beautiful piece of writing!

My problem I have with tipping is :-(A) if the meal is terrible but the service is good would I really want to leave a tip and (B) If the meal is great but the service is rubbish' I still wouldn't want to leave a tip.
I once read that the derivation of 'tips' was that it came from little notices on tables T.I.P.S to insure prompt/perfect service.
I tend to tip based on the whole experience.

Thank you, Lizzie - that's very kind of you to say so. :-) :-)

Your story is very interesting - you started working very early! My father would have been very impressed with that - he was a farmer, and as such we were subjected to hard work from a very young age, lol. Never did us any harm, as they say ;-)) You must have some great stories to impart.... ;-)

The difference in attitude about tipping is one that's always intrigued me; one of my sisters waited tables in Canada when she was at college over there - the basic pay was rubbish and she used to say that the people she worked with wouldn't be able to survive on their wage alone unless it was topped up with tips. This, I suppose, is why they work that much harder at serving you. That seems wrong to me though.

Here in the UK we have a sort of throwaway attitude to the service industry - as Crusty said above, it's difficult to decide what determines whether or not you are happy with what you've received: good service, or good food. By the way, Crusty, thank you for providing that little vignette about the derivation of 'tips' - I never knew that before. :-)

On the whole though, I am most comfortable with tipping 'UK style', taking the experience as a whole, as Crusty said.

I agree with Crusty about tipping on the overall experience.

I feel the same, Janet - I think it's by far the more common view here, in the UK.

I once had a teenage summer job making beds in a Pontins holiday camp on Saturdays before the guests arrived and if we were seen making beds people often asked if we would accept a small tip for doing our job. Both me and the friend I worked with refused to accept tips but we heard of other workers who deliberately hung around hoping for tips.

One of my close friends used to be a waiter in his younger days and is very fussy about good service standards and us being treated properly by others whenever we go out and tips accordingly.