Banned from Sainsburys
By: Tracey Harman
Date: 17 Sep 2011 2:25 PM

Please don't Ban me from YSP :D

Banned from Sainsbury's

Didn't like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here

that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)


Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

006.5
By: 006.5Date: 17 Sep 2011 2:28 PM

Thats the best laugh I have had in ages. Thanks Tracey it was brilliant.

Tracey Harman
By: Tracey HarmanDate: 17 Sep 2011 2:39 PM

I have SOOOO many like this George my friends from the hospital must get really bored :D

LizzieAnn
About me: I love surveys! You can't tell from reading any of my posts, though, can you?! I am a full time worker with two children and a full time house husband, are you jealous?
Why I like surveys: They are fun, interesting and lucrative, not to mention the fact that they can lead to amazing things!
By: LizzieAnnDate: 17 Sep 2011 3:29 PM

Tracey....wonderful! There is only one problem with your story....when I was a child, we were very poor, and had a dog, and one day on my way home from the shop which was half a mile away, I was starving and did actually open the box and eat most of the Winalot on my way home and the poor dog had hardly any when I got home!! I never had any ill effects, but what was bad was that I actually enjoyed the taste, and never ended up in intensive care....there is another story about the time I thought the field was full of raisins and I ate them.....but unfortunately it was a field full of sheep, so you can imagine what the raisins actually were!!! Oh the things we do in our youth....in my defence, though, I was born in the city of Boston, USA, and in America you can get away with anything!!

Ros
By: RosDate: 17 Sep 2011 4:05 PM

Tracey I love your humour ha ha! LizzieAnn I have there are humans that taste test dog food...really.

briskem1
About me: I'm a cat !
Why I like surveys: if i win my slave can buy me tuna!
By: briskem1Date: 17 Sep 2011 5:12 PM

my friend ate cat food and broke her neck trying to lick her arse!!!

John Fitch
By: John FitchDate: 17 Sep 2011 5:32 PM

some you lse a little and some you win a lot!

006.5
By: 006.5Date: 18 Sep 2011 9:07 AM

Thanks PAL

briskem1
About me: I'm a cat !
Why I like surveys: if i win my slave can buy me tuna!
By: briskem1Date: 18 Sep 2011 9:13 AM

thats what chums are for!!

LizzieAnn
About me: I love surveys! You can't tell from reading any of my posts, though, can you?! I am a full time worker with two children and a full time house husband, are you jealous?
Why I like surveys: They are fun, interesting and lucrative, not to mention the fact that they can lead to amazing things!
By: LizzieAnnDate: 18 Sep 2011 3:23 PM

ooh, groan, those jokes are worse than my stories!

Kay
By: KayDate: 19 Sep 2011 9:22 AM

You are all mad, i love it!

LizzieAnn
About me: I love surveys! You can't tell from reading any of my posts, though, can you?! I am a full time worker with two children and a full time house husband, are you jealous?
Why I like surveys: They are fun, interesting and lucrative, not to mention the fact that they can lead to amazing things!
By: LizzieAnnDate: 19 Sep 2011 9:55 PM

You are in good company, Kay, the lunatics have taken over the asylum and one flew over the cuckoo's nest!!

Fikinz
By: FikinzDate: 20 Sep 2011 3:33 PM

Love it - some of these are Pedigree :)

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